Judah's First Stitches
10 years ago
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Make new friends, but keep the old.....
One is silver and the other's gold. I know all you former girl scouts know that one. I was thinking about some old friends today that I've lost touch with over the years, so i did what anybody would do.....I googled them. Well, they are both getting married next month. It makes me sad that I didn't really know about the weddings. I knew they were engaged, but that was about it. I did talk to one of them from time to time, but we lost touch around the time I had Jude. It makes me sad that I didn't keep more in touch with them, but they are part of my past..a past that I have put very far behind me. I don't talk to anyone from my Houston days, other than my husband. It was not a happy time for me and I don't really want to remember it, so that's what you do right, you sever all ties an move on. But, it's fear that has made me do this a fear that Kaitlyn's Dad will show up one day and want to take her away from me and I won't be able to do anything about it and I'll lose my baby. I know that could never happen, but I still live with that fear daily. My way to make sure it doesn't happen...talk to no one and I mean no one from Houston. I made new good friends in Keller and they mean the world to me. They are TRUE friends they support me, help me whenever I need it and were always there when I needed someone. Then, my husband decided to move us to Montana. I have made one friend, but I want my old friends back and my old church. So, what have I started to do now you might ask...well, history is repeating itself. I still talk to some of those friends on Facebook, but I've gotten no calls, no notes nothing from those friends. Have they already forgotten me? Was I not really their friend? So, I'm back in my shell again hoping that maybe I'll get up the nerve to call them or write them. But, so far it's been easier to live here without talking to anyone and having to remember how much better I liked HOME than here. But, I am going to put my fears in the Lord's hands and maybe he'll give me the strength I need to move on and not let go of my old friends. I sure hope so.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh girl! I truly know how you feel! One thing God has been teaching me through our isolation...er...move is how much I was depending on others for support, encouragement, suggestions, advice, and how little I was relying on God. Being alone truly taught me how to become more dependent on God. It also forced me to go out and be much more assertive and outgoing than I have EVER been. That is truly the Lord's doing. So, hang in there. Your "old" friends definitely do still love you. Trust that God is working out all things for the good. Stay in your hole...it is much easier, for now. There will come a time when God will drag you out (willingly or not) and life will begin again! You are truly on my heart very often! Take care!
While I haven't been in your shoes as an adult, I moved every three to four years as a kid - right up until I got married. And it's VERY hard to stay in touch with people, even when you really do want to. Stuff just keeps getting in the way, and it's usually unimportant stuff and you feel dumb for letting it get in the way.
So, having said that, we DO still miss you and think about you and I keep wishing that we had gotten our families together to play while you were here! What a wasted opportunity! Regardless, we're thinking of you :)
I know how you feel...everyone else's life just keeps on going and you are stuck in the "new place" to make new friends! you get forgotten! I promise it will get better...I am finally at the point where I have good friends here and would be sad to leave... and wonder if I ever go back to Keller or SCP would I even fit in??
Hang in there and call me anytime, we have Vonage...817-898-1340
I truely do know how you feel...
vanessa
All these people have said it better than I could have. People haven't forgotten you. Some people are just better than others at making those efforts to call, write, etc. I was talking on the phone to Karen Ashlock the other day and she was saying how much she was really missing your family. She really started to love your little ones and then you guys moved away. I guess that is pretty much the circle of life right? I really bet that 1 or 2 years from now you will have a whole different view of this. For now, just love on those kiddos and ask God for heaps and heaps of his love and companionship. And remember that despite Jared being the working one, he gets lonely too and misses home too. I wish we lived closer to eachother. Love you! I'm so glad I have found your blog.
Thanks guys for your comments. They really made me feel better. Maybe it's the weather here...it's been so dreary outside. Plus, I miss having someone to confide in that's close. But, hopefully when we find a church it will help. Thanks again. You guys are great!
Post a Comment